Happily Married Men looking for Sex on the Internet.

On the 10 July 1964 the Beatles released a song called ‘Money can’t buy me Love’ and they were right of course, it can’t. But by heck it can buy a man an awful lot of ess-ee-ex. In fact there’s more pay-for-play romping going on today than there has been at any other time. This is thanks largely, or not, to the World Wide Web.

Man Surfing InternetAre such Men Morally Bankrupt?

The debate as to whether or not it’s morally right to pay for sexual encounters rages on, but there are actually good arguments to be heard from both camps.

However, most folks will agree that any middle-aged married guy secretly pursuing nookie online is far from what you might call an “honourable” chap.

A Decent sort of Cheat Perhaps?

Even if he’s a good husband and father by providing for, and taking care of his family, the man is still a liar and a cheat no matter how he might dress up or justify his unfaithful behaviour. A survey of 600 middle-aged men, that willingly participated in the study, revealed the following 5 facts about the randiest of these cyber rascals:

1. Many repeat offenders were high-income earners
2. Most were well educated
3. All participants were still married (seemingly happy in most cases)
4. Each volunteer was middle-aged
5. Every partaker was Caucasian

It’s not just about the Sex, Stupid (or so they say!)

According to this new study, published online by the Taylor & Francis Group, these men aren’t simply looking for sordid full on sex, but more of an emotional connection.

A woman who will listen to, and understand a man (even in pretence), has a good chance of hooking her prey. If she tells him what he wants to hear, she’ll be massaging his ego, and that’s a powerful tactic on her part.

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The Biggest Turn-on of all

These guys admit to being turned on by all the above plus the unbound anonymity that entices them to open-up freely. Baring one’s soul is something that most men – the world over – are particularly bad at doing in close relationships.

Based on the above, could it be that these ageing males are not totally honest when taking the survey? After all, any man who secretly looks for noncommittal sex, or even a clandestine rendezvous behind a partner’s back, has already shown dishonesty to be his shortcoming.

Why do they do it – really?

When this question was put forward to psychotherapist Christine Milrod, she said that these married men wanted to relive the ‘girlfriend experience’. Roughly translated, that probably means they no longer feel special, loved, or connected with their wives, as they once did when they were just a courting couple.

The Unwanted Men in Marriages!

It’s a well-known fact that once a wife gives birth to a child (especially the first born), a man can often feel left out, second best, and to some extent, served his purpose. This is not to condone the hooking up with hookers, but merely to suggest it might be one explanation.

Like most of these things, nothing just happens overnight. There will usually be a gradual lead up to men paying for female company. This will more often than not start with husbands whacking off over internet porn, whenever it’s safe to do so. Then one day the urge becomes just too great and the man decides to act out his fantasies.

Married Men Seeking the Company of other Men – Shhhh!

There are also those men who marry only to discover in later years that a woman’s love is not for them. The number of gay men tied up in heterosexual matrimony is not truly known, but it’s thought to be a much wider issue than first thought.

At some point in the marriage, these men find they are unable to ‘hold back’ any longer and finally decide to look for a same-sex relationship, or experience, online. This is a topic we’ve already covered here on the site.

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The Loyal Husbands!

These ‘naughty boys’ don’t have any intention of leaving their spouse. If they wanted to break up with their wives then they would probably have had a meaningful affair first to see where it took them. But cyber Dads want to have their cake and eat it, so that’s exactly what they do.

Hanging out with prostitutes, it seems, fills a void in the life of these men, one which has become stale and boring in the fun and intimacy department back home. The video below might help to explain the phenomenon behind the treacherous man.

Men and Women outside of Marriage don't Work!

If you have something to say on the subject of married men seeking sex on the internet, please leave your comments below this page 😉

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About Andy Aitch

Musician, writer, netentrepreneur and founder of 50ish.org, the site created for uniting middle-aged men the world over.

Motto: a man is not old until his dreams become his regrets

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Readers Comments

    Dmg says:

    Ok..here’s a question for you middle aged men….I’m a pretty sexy middle aged female. Sucessful…married for 16 years…my husband and I had become sorta in a routine..ill admit I’d lost interest in him sexually..he went though a lot of tramatic deaths in his fily and I was in my own depressed world. We both do love each other..but he got busted paying for sexual favors about 15 mths ago..he had already ended his little fling..but anyway it destroyed me..he has begged daily for FORGIVENESS I went a little crazy which included a short fling if my own with a wealthy man who showed me with attention..which I also had been missing for years. I ended it and confessed to my husband. He has forgiven me and I’m still having a hard time forgiving him…his behavior is completly out of character for him and he has been a perfect husband to me since..I’m just wondering is this typical male midlife crisis or what.??


    Jan V says:

    Well i can certainly relate to the bit that talks of feeling unwanted by your wife. Maybe redundant is a better word in my case. After we had kids i felt like an errand boy, or he dog that fetches the stick only when the master throws it. Life can definitely become monotonous after kids. I’m not justifying having sex with prostitutes, I’m just pointing out a problem that I know is not unique to me.


    Steve Madigan says:

    These guys need some help for sure, at least that is what I think. This brings to mind the scandal of the great Tiger Woods and the crap that he pulled on his beautiful wife. Needs a bit of help I think. The way that morals have eroded today is really no surprise with the web and what is on TV in prime time just makes me a bit sick. The problem is there is no one home watching out for this, both spouses working their butts off, kids doing and watching whatever they want and playing those awful video games, it is really no surprise at what is going on. Great post, keep up the good work.


      Andy Aitch says:

      You raise some good points Steve. But I don’t think moral attitudes have changed so much as the opportunity to misbehave for both men and women.

      I think if today’s communications technology was around 100 years ago, the same thing would probably have gone on. With that absence of temptation is the lack of opportunity, and without opportunity naughty thoughts stay as nothing more than fantasies in the privacy of an individual’s head.


    Pete Kici says:

    Andy
    It seems that men will be men and sometimes they are cheaters
    The world has been the same since the beginning of time some men
    want the stability of a wife at home and the lustful affair from a far

    Internet provides instant access to those possibilities
    Thanks for the great article


      Andy Aitch says:

      God help relationships when we start dating holograms Pete LOL.



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