Why do Men Sleep with Prostitutes?

A question often asked by married women is why do some men feel the need to pay for sex. Furthermore, what kinds of men sleep with prostitutes? And perhaps the most important question of all is what percentage of men sleep with prostitutes, or more specifically, what percentage of married men seeks the services of a harlot in the twenty-first century?

Man with Prostitute

Demographics Play a Role

When asked, very few single men, let alone married ones, will put up their hands and say “It’s me, I sleep with strumpets”. There are, however, a number of anonymous studies done over the years that seem to share one common fact, and that is the problem appears to be a lot more widespread than first thought.

The Johns Chart

Procon.org compiled global studies between 1994 and 2010 and then presented their findings in ‘The Johns Chart’. It shows the percentage of men (by participating country), who had ‘paid for sex’ at least once. View chart or visit Procon.org for the full report.

The Oldest Profession in the World

Women who offer sex for payment is something that has been going on since the dawn of time. Prostitution exists because the demand is there. It has always been this way and it most likely always will be. Even if societies become more moralistic with each passing generation, this base animal instinct in man is often relentless in its pursuit for sexual fulfilment and erotic diversity.

So the main reason why men buy sex is because they’re either unable or unwilling to fight their sexual urges. Such impulses can often switch on by themselves, quite spontaneous and uninvited.

Others may argue that most men probably ‘think’ about having extra marital sex (in the privacy of their own minds), but the majority don’t act out on those thoughts.

“Suppress prostitution, and capricious lusts will overthrow society”. ~ Georges Bataille

Obviously not all men are the same, and every man will have his strengths and weaknesses, irrespective of social standing, background and upbringing. But do such flaws make him a bad man of immoral character, or just someone satiating a strong human desire?

Who are the Men that Sleep with prostitutes?

Men who pay for sex are often portrayed as being middle-aged, successful, professional individuals that work long hours and travel away from home a fair bit. But in reality, studies have revealed that there are no obvious stereotypical types that partake in pay for play.

What research can conclude is that the bulk of promiscuous men are aged between 18 and 70 years or age. And believe it or not, but those of religious convictions, or working in moral occupations, are not spared from the lure of secretive sex with streetwalkers, call-girls, or brothel workers. The powerful and natural sex instinct can, and does, deliver all kinds of men into the arms of sex workers – all kinds!

The majority of men that sleep with prostitutes share the following:

  • They’re educated beyond school level
  • In regular full time employment.
  • Respected members of society
  • Come across as decent fellows
  • Display good manners and social skills.
  • 50%+ are either married or in long tern relationships.

Alarming Statistics

sex-onlineResearch published back in 2005 found the amount of men that paid for sex had more than doubled in a 10 year period, a trend that has continued to rise since those findings.

It’s thought that communications technology, to include the internet, has played a large part in the increased promiscuity within civilised society. In other words, mobile phones and the World Wide Web have seen men pursuing sex with strangers, many of whom would never have pursued such activity if it weren’t for the available technology.

It’s Immoral. Isn’t it?

When asked, most married men surveyed thought that having non-committal, anonymous sex with prostitutes is less immoral than having long-term meaningful affairs behind a partner’s back. Single men are split in the morality of sleeping with prostitutes. It has to be noted though that confident, good-looking guys who have no trouble picking up dates, were among those that thought paying for sex was a bad thing.

Being unfaithful is not a nice act no matter how one might justify it, and no one can argue with that. This doesn’t mean it’s right to judge those men who are disloyal though. There could be all manner of reasons why some feel it necessary to satisfy their needs away from home.

The Rise in Male Prostitution

Male prostitution is also on the increase across major towns and cities throughout world, particularly services catering for the older gay or bisexual men. Perhaps the highest demand of all comes from the closet gay man, i.e. men who have strong gay tendencies but chose to live straight lifestyles – for the most part – but that’s something for another article.

Further reading: Why Men Pay for sex (the Research).

By Toby Strowger | 50ish Site Contributor
Toby Strowger is a men’s lifestyle writer for 50ish.org

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Article Published and formatted by Andy Aitch – Webmaster of 50ish.org
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Readers Comments

    Moe says:

    Hi I just find out my Husband slept with prostitube and I feel very hurt right now.I saw his messages to book prostitube. I asked him and he confronted. He said only one time and he promised that he will never do it again. What should I do? I love him so much.we been together almost 20 years since we are teenager. We have 2 children.

    PattyFromTexas says:

    I think men hire prostitutes to do for them, the things they wish their wives would do, and that they when they’re actually having sex, they’re imagining their wives performing those things on them. Men don’t leave their wives for prostitutes. Any serious relationship endures because of love and commitment, but that doesn’t mean everyone gets everything they need out of a relationship. In any case, communication is key. Both partners need to let the other know what they like and don’t like.

    KEY says:

    Anyone who is trying to defend men who pay to see prostitues are idiots. Especially the men who are married. It doesn’t matter how horrible or not horrible your marriage is or relationship to your gf/bf, cheating is not right. Anyone who would cheat has no right to be in a relationship. It disguists me how many people have such low morals. And how there are “good” men that see prostitues. Any good man would chose not to.

      Paul says:

      Key,try being in a sexless marriage then you ll understand better. I have had sex with my wife less than 20 times since we are married ie 9 years.
      She just doesnt like it she told me.I told her its a real problem and there will be a time I will go see someone to fulfill my sexual urges…She still doesnt care to address the issue.. I am only human… I never signed up for this when I got married. I am in my mid 40s and wife is in her mid 30s… What should I do? Divorce?
      and let my wife leave for her country 12000 km away from here and loose my only daughter. Stop being so judgmental and consider yourself fortunate u dont need to face this situation!

    Ann says:


    I just got back from the doctors and it was from him that I was told to check for STDs. I went home and told my husband of 12 years that if there is anything to say please do right now.
    He said he has nothing to confess and that I should trust him. 8 months ago, I had an urge to check his phone and saw texts back and forth from a prostitute of him meeting up with her. When I confronted this he said that he was planning on meeting her but never did. Ever since then he has continued to be very disrespectful to me, always putting me down and making me feel so ugly and worthless. He is always showing anger to me. I call him out on his behaviors and he is not the person to ever admit to being wrong and he would rather see the other person miserable that apologize for his behavior. For the sake of our 2 boys I gave him another chance. As he said nothing ever happened. I questioned if he ever slept with a prostitute or anyone else after me and he said no. I had to put faith in my marriage and believe him, and he said that he would try to be better.
    For 10 years our relationship in the bed has been one sided. I am the one always asking for sex, I am the one that always wants to go out together, and he has no interest in me or sex with me. Every night he sits with his phone and scrolls or watches tv. This is a constant issue in our house. He doesn’t make me feel beautiful or desirable.

    Going back to today, when I told him about the Doctors appointment, he went into the shower and I saw that he was making plans with a prostitute again that very same day.
    I confronted him and he admitted to sleeping with 1 prostitue a year ago and that the condom broke so he just put another one on and continued. I was devastated that I am going through these health issues and it can be all related to him. I then said tell me the truth my health is at risk. He then admitted to another one. For 2 years he watched me struggle and didn’t care to say anything.

    Now I am going for more test.

    Please someone helps me. I don’t know what to do. He says he is sorry, but is he really. He said he made the biggest mistake of his life, but he also said this before. He swore on my life that he was telling the truth and within 5 mins the story changed 3 times.

    I am scared for my health, my boys and my marriage. He said that he turned to prostitutes because of me, because I make him mad about things. Leading up to this weeks prostitutes we went out on 2 dates, had sex and were good. Saturday is when we fought and Sunday he was making plans with her.

    A year ago, he went away for work for 6 weeks and he slept with a prostitute. How is that about me. I wasn’t even there. What is the real reasons behind his actions and his validity that its me and not him. He can never be sorry and can never take blame for things and I think he needs medical help.

    Jen says:

    First let’s define urge:
    to push or force along; impel with force or vigor:
    For those that call casual sex a biological urge, as if it is an excuse because one does not possess the faculty to control that urge, may I remind you that biology urges us to do many things. It urges us to punch people who have angered us, it urges us to abandon children who are born with birth defects. It urges women to seek out the alpha male to mate with (yet your wife still married you); all testaments to biological urges right? Yet as higher thinking beings we have been granted the gift to think through an urge. And if we are going to use biology as an excuse for sleeping around, we also must accept that biology also made men to protect women and thus ensure the survival of their offspring. Do you get where I’m going with this? You can use biology as an excuse for a variety of behaviors, yet biology is not the end all be all of humans. Our biological makeup is very close to that of apes, yet we are capable of so much more, because we have the capacity to reason (some of us better than others obviously).
    With reason comes morality and the ability to choose right from wrong. Is it wrong to want sex, no, probably not. Is it wrong to want sex at the expense of someone else (those forced into the sex industry, unsuspecting spouses that would be hurt emotionally or exposed to STI’s ), my morality would tell me yes, it is wrong. Many men don’t want to look past the biology of their penis to engage higher level thinking. To be clear that is not a biological trait of higher human thinking, so really being driven by urges is to dismiss your humanity. So when people say it is immoral and animalistic, that is what they mean. So is prostitution wrong, not if you can verify the sex worker was never forced, conditioned or abused to perform sex work, and your spouse or significant other is aware (before the fact) of what you are doing. My guess is that the percentage of men who can account for these 2 criteria being verified would be a very small percentage.

      Colleen says:

      Love it…right on!

    gt says:

    If a man is single w/o girlfriend or wife he should sleep with who he wants. If a man is married, whoring around is just WRONG. If a man wants to sleep around then they should get a divorce and let the wife find someone who will be faithful. Legalizing prostitution does not make it anymore wrong if the man is married. I’m sure these needy married men would not like their wives sleeping around and getting stds or getting pregnant. Or betraying their trust.. That’s the worst thing..never trusting that person again..relationship never recovers/never the same no matter what each person says. I wish there was the argument for legalizing male prostitution..then let’s see what men have to say about it. Let’s buy and sell men and give them that wonderful chance to sell their body to thousands of anonymous women. Let’s see how husbands feel about that..their wives playing and paying while their out of town or at work.

    jack says:

    The author’s reasoning is pathetic. For eg. –

    “Obviously not all men are the same, and every man will have his strengths and weaknesses, irrespective of social standing, background and upbringing. But do such flaws make him a bad man of immoral character, or just someone satiating a strong human desire?”

    Several serial killers give the same justification for their acts. Irrespective of anyone’s innate strengths and weaknesses there is a standard which needs to be followed for the sake of all people. And quite frankly I do not believe in permanent strengths and weaknesses of individuals, they can be changed as per the will of the person, if the person is persistent enough.

    The endeavour for all great accomplishments initially are perceived as pain inducing, but returns great happiness after a while. Like studying, gymming, or anything else.

    On the contrary slavery to the attraction/aversion of our particular senses initially starts with happiness but becomes like poison after a while and is destructive not just for our own selves but others as well.

    Urges of all kinds as per our contemplations in daily life come, we should check them with the sword of knowledge and intelligence.

    But jeez… people don’t justify your acts on the proclamation that you are unable to control yourselves.
    If you will drink 5 bottles of booze, you will become intoxicated, for sure, and if you will act strangely in such intoxicated state you cannot blame intoxication, you are responsible for those acts.

    Carol says:

    I have been married for 20 years and I have just found out my husband slept with a 23 year old call girl escorts whatever you call them it is all disgusting to me I often ask my husband to sleep with me but I now think he can’t love me or respect me cause if he did he wouldn’t go near these brothells I do everything I can for my husband and worship him but he treats me
    Like this and I don’t believe its first time he’s been to
    These places but he Denys it saying he didn’t sleep with the the prostertute when clearly he did married men that go to these places and cheat don’t care about there wives its all about them the men and there sexual fantasies

    Moxie says:

    i have been with my husband for 10 years. We have always been open about our sex lives and have done all kinds of kinky sex positions/toys/pretty much everything! Now about 6 months ago I started to get that gut feeling so I decided to do my own investigation. I went through his underwear drawer and found 10 names and numbers written down on the back of a receipt! I decided to google each and to my surprise 6 out of the 10 were TS escorts! He’s always been a man in my eyes, this came as huge shock to me because he’s never even mentioned this kind of thing to me. So I confronted him about it and he denied ever calling/seeing any of them. He went as far as not being him who wrote this… We almost broke up over it but didn’t. Here I am now, 6 months later I get the same gut feeling so here I go! He left his phone in the bathroom so I went for it! To my shock!!!! Now it’s not written down but he called one. They text back and forth and TS even sent a very nasty picture!!! I tried to keep my cool but couldn’t take it so I asked him. Again!!! Deny, deny, deny…!? WTF?! Why me? Please explain! I can’t trust anyone so I found this forum (thank God) and here I am, looking for answers…
    Ps. I’m a girly girl. I always dress up from head to toes for him. I’m I really good shape and workout on a regular basis. I’ll pretty much do anything in our sex life and give him the BEST Of the best. I need someone to explain why men do this… I’m 31 and he’s 60… So I’m sure it’s not because I’m old lol. I just want some kind of answer from him and he’s telling me I’m crazy blah blah random number blah blah blah… Thanks.

      H says:

      Hey I would tell you maybe he loves you and this is just something he feels he needs I probbly has nothing to do with you at all not that any of that makes it right but I like to think of it like this have sex with your wife is a emotional exsperience with someone you love and have a connection with a prostitute is the same as masturbating just doing it inside a woman most men masturbate all the time and no one feels that they should not be doing this. So if the guy still treats you nice and loves you I would say this is the case and if you would step up the quantity of sex you have with him a would think he would stop as if you ask your wife for sex and she says no you are going to go masturbate it is just human nature

    amy says:

    I have just watched a youtube interview with a teen prostitute, and now after reading several articles about men who go to prtostitutes, I am beyond disgusted by men in general. How strong these sexual urges can be that you go have sex with women who clearly are trafficked, pimped, forced to do this?! how unhuman and insane is to say to a hooker that she looks ‘just like your daaughter’? wtf is wrong with men? you have hands use ghem instead!!!! I am so disgusted I am seriously considering never having a boyfriend,getting married and/or having kids, thankuverymuch

    Jon says:

    The confident good looking guys who have no trouble picking up dates? So what does that mean…..hmmm…a guy like that takes women home, uses them for sex and lives them jaded for the next man. I’m a confident good looking man that has paid for quickies, its in a man’s dna to go thru the motions of procreation. Every adult on this planet does something questionable, anybody that disagrees is a liar.

    mongerplanet says:

    P4P has become a lifestyle and hobby of mine, sleeping with women from all over the world and every ethnicity. It could also been seen as an addiction. When home I am pretty lonely. But just cannot entertain the idea of staying with one woman all the time. I think you really hit the nail on the head ‘erotic diversity’
    Also it is increasing because of technology the middle classes ease of travel and for some people this is creating a problem. The dark ugly side is people trafficking due to demand and profits to be made. But this must be viewed completely separate from two consenting adults. No victims no crime.

      Elke says:

      Do you really think that any woman/girl who had a better option would choose to degrade herself and sleep with a string of nameless, faceless “men” on satisfying an urge for a living? They detest you, yet rely on the money. Doing what they do frequently requires being under the influence of chemicals. It is the only way they can temporarily get past the self loathing and go through with the job. Most don’t like it, don’t like you, and find the thought that you think they are “into” you laughable. Girls, am I right or am I right?

    hookshot says:

    You call going to hookers a problem. Well I think that if you are married you are the one with the problem. Don’t believe me? File for divorce and be ready for a lifetime of poverty. You won’t have to worry about hookers–you won’t be able to afford one.

      Jon says:

      Every man pays for sex whether in a relationship or not. A guy who pays with sex with cash money? or a guy who works long hours for his wife so she could buy stuff. Oh but wait…so the guy gets divorced and has to pay this once loving wife for “both” of their children and alimony while she takes all his stuff on top of her stuff, that’s the worst kind of hooker right there.

        Como says:

        “A guy who works long hours for his wife”….what a load. Women have always worked, we just don’t get paid. Or when we do, usually paid less. Much less. And in middle age, when men are at their earnings peak, women begin to see a decline in salary despite years of experience.
        Few courts just dole out unending alimony to women anymore.That is a fact.
        The worst kind of man is one who thinks cooking, cleaning, being the kid’s nanny 24/7, errand runner and gardener isn’t actual “work” and insinuates it has no value.
        Try paying help for all of those things and see what a wife’s economic contribution is!

    Al Roberts says:

    I am 70 years old very fit and very active. My wife has been an invalid for 4 years and sex is no longer a proposition.
    After two years I decided to visit a lovely lady and the experience was anything but seedy. I found her to be intelligent, articulate and of course fantastic fun.

    I have been only with her for 18 months now on a regular basis, we have become the closest of friends and I must say I love her with a vengeance. We are I suggest having an emotional affair. She is a married lady with married children and comes from a good family.

    Her husband knows what she does for work but has chosen to look the other way. The rest of her family and her social circle have no idea what she does. Of course her husband has no idea of my relationship with his wife or even that I exist. I will never do anything to hurt her or her family and I am well aware that one day the relationship is likely to end. For my part I have made a friend for life and I look forward – like a teenager – to seeing her and to our daily telephone conversations.I am proud to call her a friend and wish we had met years ago under different circumstances. I would love to be able to introduce her into my group of friends and to my family.

    Financially, I will never expect to see her during her work time without contributing. When we meet outside of her work time there is no financial expectation.

    I am writing this because I think it needs to be said. Yes I am an adulterer I am cheating on my wife but I am very respectful, have found happiness with a delightful person and have no regrets.

      batman says:

      You should probably send your daughter to have a “delightful relationship” with the husband of that woman, considering he too would be bored of his “wife”.
      Let me be honest, the whole endeavour of sex for men is nothing but to somehow release the semen.
      And I must tell you about a skill women have, especially these kind of women – To speak truth as if its a lie and to speak lies as if they are the truth, you will know what I’m talking about…

      I will tell you a secret of loving someone, of how to increase your love for someone. Because the happiness that bona-fide love gives is ridiculously high than what a discharge of semen can give.
      The secret is – sacrifice. The more you sacrifice for someone, the more the love increases. Then you can look into someone’s eyes and genuinely say – I love you.

      This is the love a small child has for his father and mother, and vice versa.
      The love a man has for the dog who saved his life.
      The love a wife has for the husband who is in jail.

      This is the problem with marriages nowadays and even a generation ago was the same problem.

      Nobody wants to sacrifice. Marriage starts as a charade of expectations. Men think now they can “regulate” their sexual desire and expect their partners to be ready whenever they ask. Women expect the man should help him in her “chores”, lovingly listen to all her complaints and pains she went through the entire day, that he shouldn’t disturb her and praise her for anything she does.

      Whenever something starts with proclamation of rights instead of fulfilment of duties its bound to fail. Duties first always. You should ask yourself “what more needs to be done” instead of “what more she needs to do” and this is the same for women as well.

      You have learnt nothing in you entire life. Honestly you may be 70 years old, but you have the intellect of a child.
      Even now you pay money and expect a woman to please you. One day she will say no. Then you will run to some other woman. She will also say no. Then to another. And finally one day your own mass of flesh and bones, your pathetic body will say NO. Then you will have no shelter. Alone like a fragmented cloud, ignorant of your actual situation, thinking why is this happening to me?

        qrx says:

        Well said.

        andrew says:

        Sanctimonious tosh
        Unsophisticated thinking
        There is always the desire to have a simple answer to the unanswerable from the intellectually bereft
        This urge embraces other complex issues such as abortion, the death penalty, drug legislation, euthanasia and so on.
        There is no universal answer to these dilemmas.
        Those that pretend there is betray two things
        First – life inexperience – ie the more morally challenging one’s own life has been, the less likely to assume a simplistic dispositon.
        Second – a lack of empathy – the ability to entertain the thought experiment which may lead to an alternate view
        Th latter being a function of “emotional intelligence”.

    ana ulloa says:

    I found Out My Husband Cheated On Me With A Prostitute, By Browsing on His Phone. After We Stop Talking For A Week He Confessed Me The Truth, I’M CONFUSED AND NEED HELP!!! We Have Two Kids Together and have been married 8 years,II’m Confused and I Feel I Won’t trust him again, he insists we stay together and wants help by our church prise, please help, What really bothers me us that, if I wouldn’t off find out myself what he did he wouldn’t off told me what he did, I found out by pictures and texting so I confront he and he told me the truth.

      Peter says:

      My name is Peter and I think I know exactly what your husband is going through. I believe myself to be very similar to him. Unless he is a complete psychopath, it is true that he needs help. If he has given you no sign he has fallen out of love with you, he most likely still loves you as much as he ever has and is seriously committed to you and your relationship. However, unless he gets serious help he will most likely never stop for good. Only you can decide if you can live with that.

      Top Lelington says:

      How’s the s*x? How often do you do it? What different things? Do you scr*w his brains out? Are you fat? Are you actually genuinely there for his emotional needs? How much stress is he under? Shaming and punishing men who use prostitutes to deal with their needs is like punching a child for acting out. All they’ll learn to do is not get caught if you don’t actually solve the underlying issues.

        Paul says:

        Well said!

    dan yenlod says:

    Enough with the political correct correctness. The correct terms are prostitues not escorts, call girls, or sex workers. The men are johns. If they are married they are adulterers.

      Cil says:

      “Her husband knows what she does for work, but has chosen to look the other way” and “her husband has no idea of my relationship with his wife or even that I exist” because outside of a prostitute/John relationship, you do not exist. You are a lonely, sad man who is deluding yourself into believing you mean something to this prostitute besides a regular income. If the money stopped coming, the “happiness you have found with a delightful person ” would cease to continue. Are you being respectful to your ailing wife? To your family? To yourself? This woman is a prostitute, plain and simple.

      I am writing this because I think it needs to be said.

      rick says:

      Very well said it takes a person with a brain to think like this.

    yenlod says:

    For all you sick adulters that think it is your biology to seek out new and exciting partners to fulfil your fantasies, I have news for you. Your wife is sick of looking at the same wrinlkled face, bald head, fat slob with a limp tool day in and day out. Proof of that is in the numbers of wives that now cheat. Now that we are working we have all the opportunities you always did. We don’t have to pay though. You are so disgusting to look at that you have to pay. We crave something new and exciting. It is in our biology as well, so I guess it isn’t our fault. We do love you fat slobs. Someone has to take out the trash before he spends money on some trash. You love the fake moans and groans the prostitute belts out so you can think you are a great lover and she was really satisfied by you. Get real. The lowlife prostitute would not let you eat her if you did not pay her first. The next time you want some sh*t, stick your head in a public toilet, it is free!

      gg says:

      Apparently you think that prostitutes are competition but they are not. They fulfill a part you are not willing to fulfill. And if you want some action, go and get it for free. Sure it is a two way street! Both sides can be happy this way…

        Colleen says:

        I say BS…… usually the woman has tried to do his “FULFILLING” fantasy. The problem is the man is never really fulfilled and needs to keep trying with prostitutes because truly he is lacking.

      Steven Bruce says:

      It sounds like you’re trying to shame us adulterers; go right ahead. We just want to get laid, and paying for it is not embarrassing in the least, for three reasons. The first is that we all pay for things we want. I love golf, but I’m not interested in playing only when I’m offered a free game. Second, I already have to pay to have sex with my wife—the treatment she demands day in and day out so that I can have an occasional romp is staggering! Sex with hookers is much cheaper. Lastly, it’s SEX. A man can never be ashamed of sex, no matter how he gets it. I would screw a pile of rocks if I thought there was a snake in there!

        Cil says:

        True, it is MUCH cheaper with hookers.

        qrx says:

        You ARE shameful. Grow up, man up and work on fixing the relationship you are in. Otherwise, get out and free your wife to find a decent partner that she can have a mature, functioal relationship with.

      Cil says:

      Here here!

      Andrea says:

      LOL Public toilet indeed! These men are easily taken advantage of. Think they are the only “boyfriend”. But reality is, they wait their turn and of course, she has to be great at acting he’s so freaking hot! They want that cash flow coming in. Probably leave laughing at their ugly butts. For those who say “descent” woman are jealous of prostitutes….. Jealous of what? Anyone can spread their legs. A dog will hump anything. If I want to get paid, of course, I’d shake my tush and show my tits, but I ain’t scanless like that. Unmoral narcissist, I hope you all pay for cheating with cum buckets and disease filled crap.

        random says:

        A dog will hump anything. If I want to get paid, of course, I’d shake my tush and show my t*ts…

        Poor adulterers… they think they are so so special…

    gg says:

    If the wife does not want to play because she is “selfish”, what can a man do than seek some relief. Most of the responders against prostitution are women who cannot understand a man’s needs. A lot of wives want to check out of the sex department because they do not feel the need and expect the husbands to just jerk off once a week at the bathroom. Well ladies that is not how a husband became a man and stayed a man. Good luck to all of you that think that we are the same “animal”. Ladies you should thank prostitutes for keeping your husbands happy in the sex department so that you can have them for the rest…

      GlamoJen says:

      gg… I am a very good looking woman married to a man in the robotics feild with less than average looks or physic that compare to me. We engage in many different sexual activities… I do all he asks… I even moved to a different country to be with him…. and he STILL ad sex with a prostitute after only 2 years of marriage….. Has NOTHING to do with me not satisfying.. GROW UP!

        gg says:

        I am talking for the ones that are not as lucky as your husband…A lot of other married men live in a sexless marriage. It is a fact and sometime beyond one’s control (a health issue or something along those lines). Paid sex is the only alternative in a lot of cases and should be welcomed in that family scheme. Why does the rest of the family life have to suffer just because of one department which is lugging. Divorce so that one can have sex once in a while? Really?

          CandyGirl says:

          I wouldn’t want to have sex with you either it your were my husband.
          Not after you’d spent our money on drug-addled, messed-up, vulnerable PROSTITUTES.

          Who really would want to have sex with a people like you?

      Kelly says:

      Then maybe the wife should do the same, it’s a matter of respect dont bring diseases to them, if a man feel that the wife is not satisfying him, get OUT! It not all about his needs, and wants wife has needs too!! To all me. Not happy then just leave!!

    Natasha says:

    Married men and women who pay for sex are lacking backbone. It is as simple as that. Nobody in this whole world forces you to marry and settle down. If you need variety, stay single or find someone who wants an open relationship. Cheating and going behind someone’s back is never okay and excuses don’t justify cheating. If you aren’t happy leave before you cheat.

    Some people here need to become responsible for their actions. There is no one else to blame but yourself if you break a promise. We are not apes, we have a highly developed brain that allows us to balance reasons.

    If you want a faithful spouse and sexual variety you are just an egoistical person who doesn’t deserve a partner. You can’t have everything in life, grow up people!

      Kelly says:

      Yes! Tasha I asked my ex, if he wanted an open relationship, but he acted like he didn’t understand the question, but still did his dirt. Behind my back, he in prison now again, but guess who he calling on for help!

    BH says:

    I have a unique situation. I am 40. My wife and I became teenage parents and immediately settled down with children. We’ve been together over 20 years and I dearly love her. Now that the kids are getting older I’m finding new curiosity and a desire to explore. I found a lovely lady, I guess you would call her a sex worker, that I have visited twice now. I go to her house and we cuddle and explore. Its really more like we’re newly dating (although I know that without that $100 I wouldn’t be there). She works another job and seems to not have many guys she sees. I know how this sounds but it has been therapeutic for me. I don’t want to leave my wife, I just wanted to feel out my curiosity and sew my oats. I probably won’t continue seeing the other lady for long but somehow its fixing something within me. This is the type of thing “prostitution” could remedy within society should it become legal.

    Don’t know why something like that should be illegal. I think society is ready more now than ever.

      Natasha says:

      You are one big coward. Does your wife know about it? Would you be okay with her fooling around with other men? Grow a backbone and tell her the truth instead of justifying your sad behavior with egoistical excuses. You don’t really love your wife, if you would truly love her you wouldn’t break the promises you gave to her. Honey, you are just too afraid of being alone.

        GlamoJen says:

        Natasha, well said…
        This man does not deserve the love God gave him. Justifying his acts like that made me want to puke! I feel very badly that his wife chose to waste her life with him!

          batman says:

          Nothing justifies prostitution. It is justified neither for those women who say that they require money, neither for those men who say they want to satisfy their urge.

          There is always, always, always an alternative to committing a criminal act.

          Imagine the daughters of these persons giving the same justification – My husband came home very late, and was very tired, so he refused to do s*x, so I went to a neighbour’s house and asked a man to do it with me, it now isn’t my fault is it?

          Obviously a sane person would ask “What? Didn’t you think even once about the sanctity of your relationship? You think a marriage is just an arrangement of a male prostitute for you?”

          And for those who take the extremes to justify their acts that we live in sexless marriages. Even in such extremes, it is far far better to remarry than to go to a prostitute. It is a fact that johns are usually not lonely men, they are young and usually come in groups of 2-3, and think because they are paying, everything is justified with that woman, and legalizing it does nothing at all, the prostitutes themselves don’t want legalization, they just want to be anonymous and get out of this “profession” as soon as possible, of course they won’t say this to a john, because he brings the money! By taking “shelter” of prostitution you create demand for a very dangerous situation, both for men and women.

          There is not a single woman in the world that cannot become a prostitute. Why? All it requires is a body gifted to you by nature i.e. it requires minimal amount of intelligence and education, even if I exaggerate the education part, it would require a bit of general awareness at the maximum.

          It’s a slap to every man and woman who have to use their intellect and knowledge to make a living, who strive to achieve new mental and physical plateaus through intense training… doctors, scientists, teachers, soldiers, engineers, builders of our society. And all a woman has to do to get more money than these people is to sell her body. Wow, I should immediately introduce my daughter to the nearest brothel! How perfect! Isn’t it?
          The result? A society consisting of sucker men and dumb women and a lot of “other” undesirable elements.
          Men doing work earning money, women doing nothing but sucking money, perfect parasites.

          Why the hell, would I waste my hard earned money at such a woman, who fools me with her false gestures and actions, a parasite of the society, who binds men with her false charms, ensuring they would always have a weakness for her or her “similar” kind, men who will always live in an illusion that they are big and strong and have incredible willpower, while she sucks money, health, dignity, and most importantly self-control out of each one of them. Supporting such a “job” is highly condemnable.

          Prostitution at least for the host of the parasitic prostitute i.e. men is purely based on lust. That’s more than enough to disapprove of it. Because lust never really “ends”, it never gets “satisfied”, it’s like trying to put out a fire by sprinkling oil to it, and foolishly making the flames larger each time. If you think you are satisfying yourself, you are making a huge mistake. And lastly sex is for reproduction. Like all other instincts like hunger etc. it is based on a feedback mechanism. For e.g. the mind thinks that the tastier some food is, the better it is for me. To make us eat the mind makes us feel hungry, and when we eat something, it creates a pleasurable sensation of being satisfied. But as we know, following the lowest of instincts isn’t always right. A huge deep fried burger sure tastes good, is it healthy? No it isn’t.

        Stefan says:

        Break the promises? When wives refuse to sleep with their own husbands, it is they who have broken the promise of marriage. Men will seek sex, and you can call it cowardly or egotistical or whatever else. They will seek it—wherever they can. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Happiness is important.

          Paul says:

          Stefan.. Exactly my thought! Being in a sexless marriage from the get go your comment resonates here. Being quite handsome I could always pick up other women but that would be chea
          ting imo.

        Jennifer says:

        100% correct.

      Bob says:

      Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. When it is withheld by either partner, good luck.
      Men and Women feel love very differently. For men, sex is the most important why to express love. If a partner withholds sex the only way a guy will read it is that they don’t love them.
      You can talk all you want about helping out around the house and other BS but fact is none of that really matters. Men and Women are different.

        secrets says:

        How can having sex be the main way a man to show he loves you? Men give prostitutes money to have sex with them?? How can both these things be??

      Andrea says:

      See if your wife is the first to sign the petition form Mthr Fkr……

      Heracles says:

      I am so… so sad, that even aged men are not free from this agitation called lust. I absolutely hate this sensation called lust, it burns and agitates too much. And sadly the more I try to pacify it through sex, the more perverted and agitating it becomes. Kind of like drug addiction, you “need” more potent forms each time…

      I thought I would be literally free from this pathetic lust physiologically, when I will get old, just like I was in my childhood, but this makes me so sad, how this pathetic burning agitation makes us do pathetic things…

      But yes I have noticed that the more sexual are the women around, I mean their words, behaviour, and even their clothing, the advertisements, posters, hoardings, music, the more this lust agitates me, I cannot deny this.

      But the agitation is very low or not at all, if all of the above are not there to be contemplated. I mean I remained secluded in my home for around 20 days, without any kind of sexual exposure and I was completely at peace, happy and cheerful, but when I went out it was okay for a while, lust didn’t seem to affect, but the more the contemplation of such things increased the more lust agitated. And after a while the women whom I viewed as people who I have a duty to protect, became experiences, organs that I must get…

      Nothing for me is more pleasurable than – not being agitated by anything despite of being among all agitating things. I absolutely crave this experience.

      Also the whole exploration in sex part is just word jugglery, and ends with the same thing – discharging of semen.

      I have also noticed that the sole motivation for me to engage in sex was the cessation of this agitation, or in other words, there was relief when lust was not there. Just like there is relief when hunger ends. The motivation for people to eat is hunger. And when we have a fever then even the most desired food creates nausea.

      And lastly I have noticed another thing that just like food can be purely a need, but out of habit of gluttony it becomes a “psuedo-need”/”psuedo-hunger”, a thing which is not factually required by body but still craved out of habit only(fat people will know what I’m talking about), similar is the issue of sex. And just like a self controlled eater enjoys the pleasure of both food and fitness, so does self control apply in other fields of life…

      secrets says:

      Would you be ok with your wife cuddling and having sex with a man thats not you?

      Kelly says:

      How would you feel if your wife did the same, you men are spoiled so put the shoe on the other foot!!

    MJ says:

    Interesting commentary. I agree with many others that prostitution should be legalized rather than scorned and seen as an illegal and moral failing. Being in my 20s and looking around and my friends and cohorts, I hardly see those not paying for sex as moral superiors. Many hunt down drunk girls to take advantage of their loosened inhibitions, lie and say they are interested in a relationship to gain access to sex, cheat, and do many other immoral things. A few years back, when I was single, I gave paying for sex a try after a friend admitted to trying it. What I found is the most honest transaction I ever had in my romantic life. I was not interested in anything other than sex and that is what I received. Utilizing this allowed me to stop staying in dead relationship and trolling bars for sex. In fact, it let me put sex aside and look at what I really needed in a relationship other than physical attraction. It has led to a healthier view of relationships and ultimately an engagement to a wonderful woman that I am faithful to and I appreciate for many reasons other than just sex. So, while many may choose to vilify those who pay for sex, it may be worth considering what those that do not pay for sex do to meet their goals before suggesting it as a better alternative.

      Abby says:

      I think you bring up some very good points about men trolling around in bars lyisomeone women
      for sex then dumping them! Never thought of it that way but you’re right that’s MUCH worse than paying for it! At least
      thats between two people who agree on what they’re doing. Then no one gets hurt!

    Harvey says:

    True. The ones that don’t find out don’t get hurt. I think whatever the rights and wrongs of his actions, he showed great bravery and honesty in coming clean.

    Harvey says:

    Like all things to do with sex it’s a very messy issue… I’m all for legalisation of prostitution to protect the vulnerable but I think married men should think twice before paying to play. It is so humiliating and hurtful to their wives – as Julie bears witness.

      Andy Aitch says:

      True Harvey, but let’s not forget that most married men are hardly going to go and tell the misses they pay for play.

      In Julie’s case, it sounds like her husband was full of shame, remorse, and guilt for his part in this, and needed to own up because he obviously regrets his actions and cares deeply about honesty in the relationship between him and his wife. I doubt this is the case with those married men that regularly sleep with sex workers.


      Stefan says:

      Men who visit prostitutes are no more or less ethical than any other men. Men like to have sex, and when their partner denies it to them they will seek it elsewhere. Simple as that. A marriage without sex is already broken. “Cheating” makes it possible for men to endure such a relationship. I’ve cheated for years and feel no guilt whatsoever. If the sex ever returns, the cheating will stop. After all, it’s expensive!

    Julie says:

    Hi Andy,
    Thank you for your comments, they are appreciated.
    God Bless you!

    Julie says:

    My husband admitted to sex with a prostitute one year ago when he went across the street from the hotel to the mall and was approached, this was in Manila. He and his business partner had 48 hrs in Manila, and he decided to check out the mall in the afternoon and the hooker approached him by coming up behind him and touching his arm and asking him if he was alone and in need of company, in which he just said yes.

    They walked back to the hotel across the street and she put a condom on him and he started to have sex and within seconds he stopped and told her to get the f**k out of the hotel, this transaction cost him $50 and he said he doesn’t know why he even did it, he said he caught himself seconds to late and is very remorseful. He confessed this to me 2 months ago, so needless to say I am hurt, angry, hateful, and the list goes on!

    We have been married 27 years and I guess it’s just a number to him, even though he doesn’t want the marriage to end. On my husband’s insistence we are in marriage counselling and he has joined me in going to church, he was fed up with religion but can now see how having God in your life is such a blessing, we also see our pastor individually again on his insistence, he is in shock by what he has done and wants our marriage repaired, BUT I am having a really hard time with this. Please pray for me as I struggle along. Thank you

      Andy Aitch says:

      Hi Julie and thanks for your comments.

      I’m sure it’s not much consolation, but think about how difficult it must have been for your husband to come clean with something that most probably could have gone to the grave with him. Reading what he has since done to rectify his behaviour, it seems to me that he obviously cares a great deal about you and your marriage, but I’m no expert nor do I have all the details. I’m sure there are many other men out there who keep such matters secret for life and never mention them to a living soul.


      joe says:

      I’m sorry to hear what your husband did to you. It sound like it was a moment of weakness.
      I hope you can forgive him and preserve your marriage.

      Top Lelington says:

      Julie you sound like the boring insufferable kind of woman that drives men to scour for poon. He has needs and expressed them, and your reaction is to shove him into counseling and a pew. He trusted you. He thought well enough of you and loved you enough to tell you, and you have rewarded that with harshness. No wonder he said yes to the girl; he wante to know a gentle, unthreatening touch for once.

    SK says:

    There really is nothing wrong with it at all it should be legal in all states. What I really am saying is legalized brothels, the woman are tested every week, and it is a safe sex thing. i have gone to reno a lot to there brothels over there and it is great!! I really wish they made it legal at every state. I mean look this profession is never going away and it just makes sense to legalize it in my opinion. People saying you are sick going there etc, Well look unless you go and try it out u really do not know what u are saying. It actually has helped me talk to woman a little bit berrer than I used to. I am naturally a shy guy but It has improved since i have gone there every so often through the years. I am in my mid 20’s been going to brothels since I was 21.

    Again I am really talking about brothels in general not just some prostitute on the street.

      Andy Aitch says:

      Hi SK and thanks for your input and personal account on this subject.

      Some people reading your comments might think it’s a bit sad that a young fellow in his 20s should find it necessary to seek sexual relief by paying for it. But the reasons why men do are so numerous and so varied, it’s just too complex an issue to generalise.

      There’s also an increasing demand for male escorts – the world over – as more and more single, lonely, or ageing women (to name but 3 groups), are looking for the same kind of temporary relief as men. Yes, women have needs too, although this side of the industry is less talked discussed in general.

      Perhaps if those opposed to the sex profession looked carefully and logically at the FOR and AGAINST arguments on legalisation, they might just see that the reasons why sex workers – in all their forms – are not only necessary and practical, but a valuable service to any society.

      Criminalisation – it seems – simply keeps ‘the game’ underground, and when that happens, those that work in the profession are vulnerable to all kinds of cruel exploitation, health hazards, and personal danger.

        JD says:

        I think SK has the right idea. If I knew at his age what I know now I would be doing exactly what he is doing.

        All men pay for sex in one way or another. You get married and have kids and the woman owns you for the rest of your days. Step out of line and you are financially ruined by divorce and then ongoing child support payments.

        Much better to pay for it and get exactly what you want, when you want it, and on your terms. When I was younger the amount of money I’d waste on dating, buying drinks for women in bars, dinners, etc only to get no pay off. Better to pay for it, get exactly what you want and be done.

        Hired help will not take your home or your financial future. He is also right that sex with a working girl is far safer than sex with a civilian.

          Andy Aitch says:

          I think sex workers do offer a valuable service in many ways, but it’s a debate that could go on forever amongst those who agree and disagree with the industry.

          JD, your reasons would probably be shared with those men who believe they have been bankrupted by a failed relationship, but there will also be many others that are more than happy to ‘invest’ in a marriage along with all its domestic trappings and costs. Most opinions are based on personal experience and attitudes. That’s not to say one person’s opinion is any more or less valid than the other, but just different points of view, that’s all 😉

          There are also many branches of sex work. For example, some ‘working gals’ specialize in a valuable service where the sole purpose is to satisfy the needs of elderly or disabled people, many of whom would not otherwise get to experience such intimacy, despite the fact that they have needs just like the rest of us. Now why would anyone deprive them of sexual relief? After all, it is a basic animal instinct within humans. Isn’t it?

          Andy Aitch

    MYBUSINESS says:

    I’m a man of early 60S and I totally agree with the comments above mine. I have been married twice before. After menopause, my last wife had no interest in sex at all. She even called me sick for suggesting it at my age saying those days are over and that I should grow up. Now I live alone and I never plan to marry again. Like many men of my age I’m a little fat. I have almost no hair on top but plenty above my ears. I guess you might say I’m on the ugly side of plain when it comes to looks but I do consider myself a clean well groomed man, not that that is really relevant here. I am certainly not a distinguished looking 60 something. I still have sex drive and refuse to be someone who plays with themselves over porn pics online, so I use the services of local prostitutes, usually the same 2 ladies for the past year. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but one local radio station brands men like me as sad sick individuals. I wouldn’t mind guess that those that say these things use these services too because the most anti in anything in this life tend to be the ones that are closeted in whatever it is they are anti about,

    SydneyH says:

    I’m a man in his 50s. My wife died a few years back, and i decided I never wanted to settle down again with a woman. Being a man though, I still have sexual needs that need fulfilling from time to time. So yes, i do occasionally pay for sex and don’t see anything wrong with it. Not sure why there’s still so much stigma attached to the profession.

      Dana says:

      Hi, I am dating with a 60 year old man and he did pay for sex when his wife passed away 10 years ago but not anymore when he is with me. Should I trust him?

        Andy Aitch says:

        Hi Dana, and thanks for your comments.

        Asking advice on this, or any other ‘personal’ matter come to that, is just someone else expressing their opinion, as I’m going to do now. And opinions being personal beliefs means that they could either right or wrong depending on how they’re viewed and interpreted.

        So, IMHO, I think by the simple fact that you know about this deeply private issue in your partner’s life, shows he’s open, honest, and wants there to be no secrets between you. And when all said and done, isn’t the core foundation of any healthy relationship built on trust?

        If however, you found out by probing and he denied sleeping with prostitutes at first before finally confessing the truth, then you might want to revisit the quality of the relationship based on your initial suspicion and his reluctance to come clean.

        But like I said, these are just my opinions based on the basics of what you’ve just posted. So my response doesn’t mean I’m right, it just means I think I am 😉

        Hope that helps?

        Andy Aitch (webmaster)

          Dana says:

          Hi Andy, many thanks for your kind reply.

            Andy Aitch says:

            Thanks Dana, hope you found something useful in my response 😉

          Iza says:

          Hi Andy,

          Your answer strikes a chord with me. I found out by probing, he denied at first and finally confessed only more than 1 yr. later after I caught him again. This time I caught him just before he carried out the act. I feel cheated already because the intention to do so was already there and he was already making his way to the sex place. After episodes of fights and emotional pain, he finally became open and honest for the first time. He told me everything from his past to the cheats he has committed when he was with me. His past is something that I dont care much about but what hurts and pains me most is how he was able to cheat when he is still with me. He is repentant now which is why we are still married but I dont see him the same way anymore. Nothing to do with his past but the thought of how he could have ever done something like that to me that haunts me. I would like to hear your elaborate opinion on this. Thank you.

            Andy Aitch says:

            Hi Iza, and thanks for your comments.

            I have to say that I’m no agony uncle and cannot really comment in any detail, or with any authority, on a stranger’s relationship with their partner. I guess in situations like these, one has to ask their own questions and seek their own answers.

            Domestic affairs are deeply personal things, and what one person might do could be very different to the actions of another in the same or similar situation.

            I wish you well and hope that everything works out for you, whatever you decide.

            Best regards


        hnbbh says:

        Why are you here — can’t men have a website without some B– jumping in with her stupid problems?

        Go ask your boyfriend — no one here cares about you inane relationship fears.

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