Testicular Injuries are no Laughing Matter

Kicked in the BallsAt one time or another, nearly every man experiences the exquisite pain of a kick in the nuts. It’s such a common event that it’s even become part of the language to describe an ignominious occurrence of overwhelming pain.

Okay, but why is getting Kicked in the Knackers
so Fuc**NG Painful?

The simple fact is that all testicular injuries are not equally painful. Some kicks in the balls are worse than others. The reason is very simple. A mobile scrotum absorbs mechanical forces more completely than a tight scrotum. Put another way, the bigger your bollocks, or the tighter your nut sack, the more pain a kick in the groin will cause you.


Fortunately for many a middle-aged man, and older, a taut nut sack is but a thing of the past. However, he could still have chubby balls, and if they’re swinging in the wind, then he really needs to safeguard the family jewels with ever more vigilance.

But being booted in the meat and 2 veg is just one of many ways in which we experience pain and suffering in those love spuds of ours. Lifestyle choices also influence the risk of traumatising the testicles, and needless to say that in general, it’s the youth that are more prone to injuring their sex organs than middle-aged dads and granddads.

The most common testicular injuries fall into three categories:

  1. Blunt force trauma
  2. Repetition injuries
  3. Degloving injuries

Okay, so let’s look at each of these in turn.

Blunt Force Trauma

This results from a blow to the scrotum. If the sac is tight, the force of the blow is immediately transferred to the testes themselves. Filled with the tiny canals that produce sperm and a rich blood supply, swelling is immediate. Pain soon follows. The pain usually radiates forward to the tip of the penis and backwards to the anus.

The most common cause of blunt force trauma to the testicles is some kind of sports injury. Perhaps the two riskiest activities would be rugby and anything involving paint balls. Kicks in the groin and dog bites also cause this kind of affliction.

Repetition Injuries

Repetition injuries result from repeated mechanical stress to the testicles. These are most common in mountain bikers, but they also can occur in compulsive masturbation. Anything that rubs the penis raw is likely also to damage the testicles.

Blunt force trauma hurts more than repetitive injury. But degloving injuries hurt a whole lot more than either of the other two common kinds of damage to the testicles (see below).

Degloving Injuries

These involve the removal of the scrotal sac in the course of a mechanical injury. This can happen when working out on weight machines nude, and in industrial settings in which the pleat of the pants gets caught in a roller or grinder. It takes about 50 kg (110 lb) of force to rupture a testicle. You most definitely don’t want to try this at home!

And watch out for this one!

It’s also possible to ‘pull a ball’. The fix is similar to what you do for a pulled shoulder joint, only you probably don’t want just any passer by to take care of this one for you.

How bad a testicular injury will hurt depends on what you do next. For minor injuries, wearing briefs to support the scrotum, applying an ice pack, and, if you don’t have blood clotting issues, taking one or two aspirin every 12 hours will help. Many men get past their injuries in just 12 to 48 hours. Bed rest may be necessary.

If you have swelling of more than 2 cm (about an inch), however, go to see a doctor. This may be a sign that circulation is cut off, and if you don’t get it restored, you may have to have your testes surgically removed.

Despite this advice, the average delay in seeking medical attention is 19 days, which gives the doctor way more business than if you simply go to the ER right away.

Take heed, you can literally save your nuts by getting timely treatment.

BY ROBERT RISTER | 50ish Site Contributor
Robert Rister is a senior health writer here at 50ish.org

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