The True Function of Teeth in Older Men

As we men grow older, so our bodies show visible signs of aging. We might be able to hold in a big belly, stick a hat over a balding hairline (if it bothers us), and cover up other bodily bits that we’d sooner not display in public. But so long as we intend to keep talking, eating, yawning, and smiling, there’s not much we can do to hide our teeth from the world at large.

Of course, the main function of teeth is for chewing food so it can be swallowed effortlessly and digested easily, but that’s not their only role, not in the twenty-first century.

Man with Bad TeethThe Tooth about Jobs!

Having a mouthful of rotten chompers is all fine and dandy if our man cares little about his tusks.

But should he find himself in a position where he’s seeking employment, then poorly kept teeth could literally be his downfall. That’s not to say it’s right, just that it’s so. Perhaps employers think an untidy mouth displays negligence in a man, someone who’s a bit too cavalier perhaps?

The Tooth about Relationships!

Any man of middle age that finds himself single, and looking for love, had better think carefully about the state of his gnashers if he’s to stand any chance of getting a date. Or if his pearlys have lost all trace of their former whiteness, then he should at least consider wearing a muddy coloured tie to take the focus off his piehole.

It doesn’t matter how well groomed a bloke is, if he’s got a gobful of manky fangs, bad breath, gingivitis, and chipped enamel, then his date would more likely French kiss a skunk than swap spit with him. 85% of women say halitosis the biggest turn-off bar none, so take heed!


We never get a Second Chance to make that First Impression!

Good First ImpressionWhether we like it or not, we live in a world obsessed with good looks. Whenever we meet someone for the first time, that initial impression really does count. 50 percent of people surveyed in the US said that a smile is the first facial feature they notice, and use, to form a preliminary judgement.

“A smile is a simple curve in the face that can set a lot of things straight.”

Women in Britain think a man’s eyes are a more attractive and revealing feature than a broad smile displaying near perfect teeth. However, almost all those surveyed said they wouldn’t rush to make a second date if the most gorgeous guy had breath like a dog’s backside, no matter how many twinkles were glinting in his seductive eyes.

Having clean, undamaged teeth, healthy gums, and fresh breath, are more important than any Hollywood smile, (where perfection often looks too false to impress anyway). Unfortunately, a lot of middle-aged men let themselves go in the mouth department. As a consequence they suffer a plethora of oral problems, and lose more teeth than they ever need to.

The Failure of British Teeth. Dental Care a Low Priority for Most Middle-aged Brits!

The British FLagBritish men reputably have the most disgusting gnashers in the western hemisphere, but why is this? We stopped and respectfully put our question to one 50-something man in central London. Sporting a mouth that resembled a wet garden rake, we thought he’d be qualified to answer our questions. Here’s what he said:

He jested that British men in general are allergic to pain, but then went to say that guys from the UK shirk away from all things medical, not only dentists and dentistry. “We put-off going to the doctors until we’re on the brink of death”, he explained. “And sometimes we never pull through because of our stubborn resistance to get checked out earlier”.

The friendly beavered Brit went on to say that most men have dreams about teeth which are perfect, and most would love to have a nice set of pearly whites – but not at any cost! He said that very few men are prepared to put up with the pain and discomfort needed to achieve a whiter, straighter smile, unlike the Americans who will endure torture to get theirs – apparently!

Asian Dating

Interesting Facts about Oral Hygiene through the Ages

  • Teeth-cleaning reaches as far back as 5000 BC. The Egyptians made their tooth powder with things like ox hooves, powdered eggshells, myrrh, and pumice
  • Romans and Greeks mixed crushed bones and oyster shells into their tooth powders
  • Tooth powder became available in England in the 18th Century. It included a number of abrasive substances such as brick dust, earthenware, cuttlefish or crushed china
  • A man named William Addis was the first known person to give us the toothbrush back in 1780. It was made from cattle bones and wild boar hair.
  • The first ever synthetic toothbrush came out of America back in the 1930s

The Final Word

So there we have it. If you’re a middle-aged man, single and looking love, or unemployed and seeking work, then you’ll not get very far if your mouth looks like a neglected graveyard. That’s quite a shallow assumption, but sadly it holds true in today’s world nonetheless.

Caring for your middle-aged teeth is not just about appearance. Lack of oral hygiene can, and does, cause all kinds of painful yet avoidable, health problems. The choice is yours 😉

By Toby Strowger | 50ish Site Contributor
Toby Strowger is a men’s lifestyle writer for

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Readers Comments

    Burning User says:

    I love the way some of the articles are written on this site. Keep up the good word men, your pages are a breath of fresh air. Certainly got me thinking more about my ageing gnashers.

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