The Husband-bashing Wives of Modern Society
Husband abuse – that is wives who beat up their husbands – is a growing problem, especially among middle-aged couples that have been together for a good while. With so many jokes about how some of today’s women are becoming bigger and stronger than men themselves, this is one aspect of their increasing masculinity that’s just not funny! So what’s really going on out there in modern society, and if it’s such a big issue, why don’t we hear more about it?
Why Men Don’t Tell
The main reason this problem has been kept firmly behind closed doors is that men just don’t tell, and there have been good reasons for their silence. What man wants the world to know he’s getting a beating from his wife? Practically none, that’s how many, no matter how severe or regular his thrashings.
Apart from the humiliation of a fella admitting being slapped around by the misses, there’s also the fear of being branded a wimp if he dares to utter a word about his ill-treatment – until now that is! At long last men are starting to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH!
Historically, battered husbands who had the courage to report their dilemma, have either been ignored or exposed to full-on mockery and abuse. Back in 18th-century France, as an example, an abused husband was forced to wear a bizarre outfit and ride backwards on a donkey around his neighbourhood.
When a Man Beats a Woman
If a woman meets up with friends, family, co-workers, or whoever, and she has a black eye, busted lip, and chipped tooth, or other visible signs of abuse, then she’s going to get a lot of genuine love, care, and support from those around her, and quite rightly so.
When a Woman Beats a Man
When a man is the victim of domestic violence, it’s a different story, at least is has been until recent times. Getting laughed at and teased by others has been enough of a deterrent to keep his beatings a secret. Ridicule only triggers negative emotions, like shame, remorse, and perhaps guilt too, depending on the circumstances. Being disbelieved is something else that’s been a major worry, especially if the wife is half his height and half his weight. But it is real and it is happening. Furthermore, husband bashing seems to be on the increase.
Why don’t these Men Stop those Women from Hitting them?
Well, there are a couple of main reasons why this vicious crime is largely undefended. The first is that a woman may hit her husband or partner (savagely in some cases), with the knowledge that he is the kind of man who would never hit back, ever! So the overly aggressive spouse can, and does, use hubby as her personal punch bag – literally.
The other reason is the simple fact that some wives are harder than their husbands, so these guys couldn’t stop or beat her in a brawl even if they tried. In general, men are the stronger sex – physically – but not in all cases. Make no bones about it, there are some pretty tough gals around, and they seem to be getting bigger and stronger with each passing generation.
In both the above cases, all the man can do is try his best to defend himself. Sadly though, a brutal blow delivered unexpectedly, and with relentless force, is often all it takes to knock him down, thus making way for yet another violent, and sometimes bloody pasting.
Where are the Stats backing up the Rise in Husband Bashing?
Religious institutions have said they regularly receive letters from husbands asking for guidance on how to deal with physically abusive wives. In addition, more men are now reporting their beatings to the police, and law departments have been gathering data on Husband Battering in recent years. But letters to clergy and police reports are just the tip of the iceberg. However, like most things, things change.
If a man festers in deep seated resentment, fear, and imploded anger, he will not alter things on the ground, so to speak. Usually, the only way to change the situation is when the man changes how he deals with it. Thankfully, this is exactly what he’s starting to do.
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up 60 seconds of peace of mind.”
As men slowly brave-up and speak out, the world is beginning to listen and take this form of domestic aggression more seriously. The old societal stigmas might still be there to some degree, but they are dying out as the reality of the situation makes itself better known:
Men on the Web are having their say!
The internet has easily become the biggest source of information to highlight this ever growing problem. There are many websites, blogs, and chat rooms, where facts, figures, and personal stories are being published with alarming frequency. Men hurt too, and just like the women of domestic abuse, vulnerable fellas also need protection. Thanks to the anonymity of the World Wide Web, this on-going problem is now getting the global publicity it so deserves.
Physical, verbal, and emotional cruelty is not only wrong, but it can, and does, destroy people – men, women, and children – and it has to be stopped in all its forms. By publishing this short article, 50ish.org is doing its bit by helping to bring this nasty and vicious wrongdoing to light.
If you’re a man reading here, and you are currently getting bullied and beaten by a spouse, try to rid any reluctance or denial you might have and admit to the fact that you’re a genuine “victim of abuse”. With so many hotlines, support groups, and other channels setup to assist men in your situation, it really is much easier nowadays to get the help you deserve.
We’ve listed some good resources on the Ill-treatment of men in the 50ish forum here.
Got something to say on this topic? Please leave your comments below.
By Toby Strowger | 50ish Site Contributor
Toby Strowger is a men’s lifestyle writer for 50ish.org