Selfish Men are the First to Bite the Dust
Some men actually boast – with a degree of pride – that they are just plain selfish and love being that way. Too selfish to have children, too selfish give their time and effort to others, too selfish to own and care for a pet, too selfish to help a so called friend in need, and on top of it all they seem to think they have the perfect life and sod what anybody else thinks!
LIVING THE SELFISH LIFE OF A BACHELOR IS NO LIFE FOR A SINGLE MAN!
For a young man living the selfish life of a bachelor it can be bags of fun. In fact its all part of growing up and perfectly natural. It’s also a great way for him to find his footing in the world and get to know himself.
Believe it or not, but these young chaps who have a bit of independent living under their belts often make better partners than those that just jump from Mummy’s bosom into that of their new wife or partner.
Many Men are Single – but not through Choice
According to various studies over the years, the number of men living alone has risen considerably in recent decades. This is often because of relationship breakups whereas others are just unable to find their soul mate. The remainder stay alone because they choose to.
With the latter group, living an egoistical, self-seeking, self-centered, lifestyle at middle age (merely by choice), where self-satisfaction is the primary concern, might make a man think he’s happy and contented, but in the privacy of his own head, the vast majority of these guys are sad and lonely individuals – though few would ever admit it.
“A man can’t grow by being selfish. He grows by sacrificing”.
The Selfish Marriage
Just about every marriage starts off on a selfishness footing. This is quite usual and there’s nothing wrong with it. After all, the happy couple are so into each other (forced marriages aside), that they often seem oblivious to the the world around them.
But if the love birds decide NOT to have kids, one can’t help but wonder why they bothered to get married? Why not just cohabit in common-in-law status? It’s usually a lot easier to split up this way should they ever decide to part company. Cynical? Maybe. Probable? You know the answer to that!
And should the couple decide that socialising with others is not really their thing, then it’s just them, plodding through life doing their own stuff with very little changing year-in, year-out, other than getting older, less active and less communicative as time passes them by.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
And if this selfish couple never argue, debate, of share a cross word every once in a while, then it usually indicates that the “man of the house” is as henpecked as hell – as latent as this might appear. He may justify going along with the flow of things by saying to himself; “Oh, anything to keep the peace!”, but this mindset is so unhealthy it’s just not normal!
Fact: No Kids + Not Pets + Little Interaction with others = Shorter Life Expectancy
It matters little how much a man adores his partner, if they have no kids of their own and choose not to be involved in the nieces, nephews, or grandchildren of siblings, then they can expect to live shorter lives than those surrounded by the love of a close-nit family group. But all is not lost. Those who have and dote on pets such as dogs or cats, can increase their longevity by playing, stroking, and cuddling their domestic furballs – apparently! View slideshow.
The Grass is always Greener on the other side. Isn’t it?
No one is saying it’s a picnic raising a family, or tending for pets (dogs in particular can really can take a lot of looking after), and those who do will often envy those who have no such obligations. But ask these people in all seriousness whether they would change a thing, and the vast majority of them will surely tell you that they would be absolutely devastated without their family life (including the animals).
Children and the family’s domesticated pets become an integrated part of a widening clan, and a loving family unit is something that’s well worth living for – ask any parent. In fact it’s the essence of life itself for most adult men and women. And if for whatever reasons a man (or couple), doesn’t have his own brood, that doesn’t mean he can’t be an important part of, and enjoy the sprogs, of those family members that do.
Selfish people, as they grow older (men in particular), often begin to feel they don’t have an awful lot to live for, and as a consequence, they get sicker more often, and sicker for longer. The upshot of this is usually a shorter life expectancy and a lesser quality of life during those so called ‘Golden Years’, according to researchers. It doesn’t have to be like this though, and habits of a lifetime can be reversed with genuine commitment and effort.
Not all Home-alone Folks are Selfish
Not every individual or couple who live alone and live an apparent life of selfishness do so by choice. There are all manner of reasons why some people just aren’t able to plug into the kind of life that most of others seem to do with such ease. This is nothing short of heart-breaking for those home-alone men that want nothing more than to be a part-of, as opposed to apart-from, a normal lifestyle. It’s a sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.
Sometimes – though not always – selfish men are the way they are because of the manner in which they were raised. The odd thing about being egocentric is that those who are will frequently deny it even when it’s pointed out by others on numerous occasions.
“Teach a man to fish, and he can provide for others. Teach a man selfishness, and he’ll only be interested in providing for himself.” ~ Jarod Kintz
Escaping from the Bondage of Self!
The good news is that there are all kind of social groups and activities around these days for all sorts of men. Their primary function is to help lonely guys (be that through a selfishness mindset or circumstance), get out of themselves and into a shared community. Mens Shed Groups is just one of many such programs available.
Got something to say on selfish living or loneliness? Then please leave your comments below:
By Toby Strowger | 50ish Site Contributor
Toby Strowger is a men’s lifestyle writer for 50ish.org