Middle-aged Gay Men Living in Proverbial Closet!
Apparently, there are more closet gay men on the planet than there are closets. All over the world middle-aged blokes are living one lifestyle while thinking about another. Many are married with kids and put on an appearance to convince those around them that they are just another Joe Average heterosexual son, brother, husband, father, and so on.
Can a Man really become Gay in his Middle-age?
A question frequently asked in lifestyle forums is this; “Why do so many men ‘turn gay’ at middle age?” The answer to that is they don’t. Well not usually! Most have always been that way, or at the very least had tendencies that they’ve kept from the wider world, and perhaps even from their own conscious mind.
However, there has been some research that suggests a gay person can, in some cases, spontaneously (and sometimes as a result of therapeutic intervention), turn straight.
At what Stage does Sexual Orientation Set in?
A boy’s sexuality is defined early in his childhood and so becomes set, or hard-wired into his very being. What this means is that no one is actually ‘born gay’, but homosexuality is developed as the child develops. So how many grow up to become closeted gay men?
Mainly due to the still homophobic prejudice in many of the world’s countries, a lot of kids will acquire a strong denial about their true feelings. Some even manage to push their homosexual tendencies into the subconscious mind. Nevertheless, there comes a time when such emotions can no longer be suppressed.
The time to open up often kicks in around middle age, a period when a lot of closet gay men become man enough, and strong enough, to face up to facts. This is also most likely why there appear to be so many men ‘coming out’ after the age of 40.
Just How Many Gay Men are there in the Wider World?
It’s actually impossible to know for sure how many gay men there are in any given country, let alone the wider world, especially with so many closets still out there! There are some figures brandished about though that make quite an interesting read. View Gay Stats here.
Is there a Cure for Midlife Gayness?
Any gay man will tell you there is no more a cure for his sexual orientation than there is for being human. And anyway, once an individual has become open and accepting about his sexual identity, he wouldn’t want to change the way he is for all the tea in China.
Being gay, at any age, is not an illness, despite what the ignorant cranks say. It is as much a part of the homosexual’s characteristic as ‘straight’ is to a heterosexual. And even though a person’s sexual tendencies may alter somewhat with age, this is neither a cure nor a curse, but merely a developmental stage that is largely out of their control.
Quashing the Myths
There is still a plethora of misconstrued myths out there about what it is to be gay. Anyone who’s living in ignorance, denial, or both, might like to read up on the facts.
If you’re a man of middle age and are having difficulties with your sexuality, but don’t know what to do or where to go for assistance, then don’t worry. There is lots of help, support, and advice out there for people just like you. YOU are not alone.
Site Update | December, 2012 – We’ve just opened a brand new forum for middle-aged gay men. This is an experimental forum to see if it generates any interest. If it does we can build on that for you. Please drop by and support our efforts by participating if you can
Visit: The Midlife Gay Forum
We’ve also started a post which lists 3 popular gay discussion boards, and will be adding more resources for all things gay, as time goes by.
Remember, you are only alone in this if you choose to be. Anonymous help, advice, or just a listening ear, are literally just a mouse click away
By Toby Strowger | 50ish Site Contributor
Toby Strowger is a men’s lifestyle writer for 50ish.org